Bourn
by monstrous.crow
Summary: <html><head></head>Newfound purpose can be a powerful thing, especially when combined with disillusionment. An Akise-centric vignette.</html>


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.**

**A/N: **I hope you enjoy this flight of fancy. Please, read and review; hearing your opinions helps me improve and is wonderful motivation!

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><p><span><em><strong>BOURN.<strong>_

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><p>"...When I created you."<p>

He can't do anything but stare blankly in shock, but his mind still manages to express its incredulity.

_Deus created me? Is that possible?_

He smiles wryly, though, because now that he thinks about it...

_Well, that certainly explains more than it doesn't._

And he can't help but laugh, because, well, really. How many people are told the reason for their existence by their god?

.

"Ponder this as you cease to be."

His body is tearing itself apart, breaking away in chunks, and as the pieces fall apart he notices detachedly how they had all fit together.

_I'm a construct after all, it seems._

"You seem to think you tracked the keepers of your own volition, but such a choice was never afforded you."

The pain is an afterthought, and it's not his flesh that is important now. It's his will, the will whose existence is being denied, and that hurts more than anything he's ever imagined.

"You collected information because it was my will for you to do so."

He wishes he could refute Deus' words, but they all ring far too terribly true to be a lie.

"You're wrong! I'm not your puppet. I'm my own man!"

But even as he protests, he wonders.

_Can I even be considered human?_

.

"But as I am a benevolent god, I will grant you one last chance."

_What's the point?_

_I'm falling apart now that I've served my purpose to you._

"If you can make manifest any moment that speaks of your supposed free will, I'll allow your existence to continue."

_But still..._

_I want to take care of my friends._

.

"One last chance to prove me wrong, lad."

Akise detects a hint of sympathy is Deus' voice, and oh, it makes him _angry, _angry enough to prove himself to no less than god himself.

"What is the strongest emotion that drove you during your time in this world?"

He's wrong, wrong, wrong again, but he's trying his best, damn it.

And then it dawns on him, understanding crashing over him like the waves breaking upon the shore.

_I don't want to admit it._

"My strongest...emotion..."

_To say it is admitting weakness._

_But I have no other choice._

"It was my...my love for Yuki."

And as he says it he feels his conviction, feels it, the strongest thing he's ever held on to.

"It's real. I feel it even now."

_Is it really?_

"That love was nothing but an illusion."

His world shatters.

.

_There is such a thing as free will._

_And maybe I didn't have it before, but I do now._

With his anger and his pain, with all of the force of the cold calculation running alongside the heated emotion through his veins, he stands and changes everything.

"You're wrong! Is this future diary I'm holding part of your master plan?"

He smirks in triumph, because _really._ With his big brain and his ingenuity, he's just outwitted _god._

"Perhaps I _was_ your unwitting observer, Deus, but that changes now!"

And it feels _good._

So he lets his words pour out of him, earnest, eager, and most of all, _his,_ and he thinks that this is the most worthwhile thing he's ever done—though not, if he has the chance, will do.

He plans to make a difference in this foolish war and its aftermath.

"I'm neither your eyes nor a tool of your will! I'm going back to Earth to change the future!"

And, well, maybe Deus is right.

Maybe his feelings for Yuki are nothing but an illusion, a fleeting mirage, but he simply doesn't care.

Because whatever they are, he has them and they're his.

And that's enough.

"I'm saving Yuki if it's the last thing I do!"

He snarls it out, angry, belligerent, standing in front of a being with the power to shape time and space to its will, and thinks that he understands exactly what love is just a little more now.

"Those are the words of one answers to no god, one who has chosen to live."

Deus chuckles, as unlikely as that is, and Aru wonders if perhaps all of this was part of a plan after all, but it doesn't really matter now.

Useless information is good for nothing but discarding. And besides...

There are more important things.

_Yuki._

"It appears you have slipped free of your tethers this day. Get thee hence, Akise."

He hears the approval in his creator's voice and basks in it, marveling at how bizarre his existence is and appreciating every last moment of it, past, present, and future.

He's had the most amazing experiences, after all.

"Alter the future while there is still a future to change."

Oh, but he doesn't have to tell him that, oh, no, no, no.

He's ready to change the world.


End file.
